Dear Pam,<\/p>\n
Q.<\/strong> I married a spender. Every month she\u2019s spending more than we have. Now we can\u2019t even think about investing for the future. For better or for worse, I\u2019m stuck.<\/p>\n \u2014 Andy, Englewood, NJ<\/p>\n A.<\/strong> Money issues always top of the list of causes that break up relationships. Opposites definitely attract, and one spouse\u2019s idea of living is the other\u2019s idea of lavishing. A lifelong partnership requires trust and respect. That means you each need to recognize you bring different styles of managing money to the marriage, and both will need to bend to prevent money. Here are some tips to help immediately stabilize your situation:<\/p>\n \u25e6 Recognize money is the necessary tool that can power your lifestyle now, and in the future. It\u2019s not easy managing and investing your own money, and it\u2019s twice as challenging when you\u2019re trying to blend two completely different styles. I recommend meeting with a qualified, fee-based financial planner who can help you develop the habit of not making each other \u2018wrong\u2019 and instead establishing and then supporting the good habits. To find the best-fit advisor, head to WealthRamp.com.<\/p>\n Meet Debbie and Bill, a Colorado couple who proves that less is more.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n\u25e6 Write down your goals separately. Then together share and combine the vision. It\u2019s important that you do this in writing.
\n\u25e6 Talk through the strategies that will allow you to enjoy those goals.
\n\u25e6 Acknowledge some degree of independence is healthy. Set up separate bank or brokerage accounts so you have: your\u2019s, mine and our\u2019s accounts. Agree to funding an emergency savings cushion and define \u2018emergencies\u2019.
\n\u25e6 You\u2019re a team now. If your spouse is overusing credit cards, you\u2019ll need to stick to using a debit card and agree to restrict the amount of available credit.
\n\u25e6 Stay focused on investing for the future. Maybe it\u2019s for a child, or to save for a solid retirement. This way, you keep your eyes on the prize instead of holding grudges over past mistakes.<\/p>\n
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